Another page from my life !!

"Wake up..",mom whispered in my ears.It was a cold February morning,my first day of trip to my home after an year.
I could feel her cold lips in my ears,her cold hands on my face.I burried my face deep into the blanket.I could hear a lot of birds and people all around.It was a strange feeling.My mom's whisper,the early morning light,the warmth of my quilt,my dad's voice nearby,the slender rays of sun in my room,the spider cob on the celing..all felt strange,as if this was something I was longing for a long long time,for all these years.It was something special,I dont know what,but it somehow made me feel blessed.I knew this time will pass away but I wished if it could always feel the same.
I went to the window from the bed.It was bright all around.I stood facing the sunrays from the window. The morning sun was on my face,on my hands.It felt pure. I touched the glass pane.It was warm,I could feel the warmth on my fingers,on my face. I was lost somewhere.The mornings's soul was deep inside me.

Two lines of Khaled Hosseini came to my mind..

"One couldnot count the moons that shimmer on her roofs
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls"

I felt content,I felt satisfied,I felt happy..happy after a long time. A smile came to my face from somewhere deep within.
Life,Sweet Life !!

Another Day in a City too fast !!

Another day at the city
The life so bustle and so tidy
The dawns are bright but the dusks are smokey
But my fate to live here for me being heavy..

Its not that you always love
That you always love to be here,
But when choices are few and time is low
you may not always hate to be here..
..

On a sunday evening on a crowded street
When the city rushed by me,am too litle
I thought,I reflected,I wanted to feel
What a life,what a time,how weird I feel !


Another day at the city of din and bustle
May be another evening of light dreams and pink beer,
A dream on stars but a fear of being hurt
I never knew when I was back in my tears..
Twenty years and more but am not gone so far
But yet it feels am dragging myself not from so near..



Life O Sweet little life
How long has it been and how far am I ?
Am hurt,am scared,am confused,am in tears..
Still i wish, still I dream
in a busy city in an other day..
As always my heart is calling for you
Every dream I cast upon the stars is of yours..


( Dedicated to my ex-gfs nd best campus-pals !!
Written while sitting in trainee hall in ma company,
still a last bencher(rather last table)..cudnt help it.Anyways i miss u ppl a lot)

God Help me !!

According to Einstein,"Insanity is doing the same things repeatedly but expecting different results !!".I don't know about others but if he was alive to see me today,at least he could have opted me for real life example on his demo!
I don't know man,why these stuffs keep on happening with me.I mean now I feel I let them happen and so they happen.
From the time when I was 4 or 5,I hated going to any cultural events unless and until I was participating (though that too used to happen after a lot of murderous mayhem from my parents..).
Time passed away.When I became cultured (my mom's version) i.e when I grew up,this particular thing was still something that I couldn't bear with..(you will say am a pervert..I know that..so just shut up !).

Anyway it was again back on the stage of my life when I was on for the CDAC Cultural Evening("For Nerds"..it was implied I guess).

The panic struck me when I first entered the hall.There was a banner displaying the institute's name.Damn,trust me man,it was written in such a dumb way(Times New Roman..I tell you),I felt like shit right away.The program started with a lousy anchor who was more busy with the paper which he was reading from than what he was actually reading!! The dumb don't even had the sense that he should leave the podium during a performance.All he could manage was grin at the audience and watch things on the stage from the stage!!
The worst part was yet to come.With Omar in the backstage,me and Nair decided to take a backseat just infront of the faculties( realised the side-effects later with a dead event..Rohan,my cam buddy :( ..ok frgt it ).

The show was on and on ! After like hundred songs,I almost dozed off when on a sudden, a dickface came on the stage and decided to read fishponds.Now this was worse.Man they read one after the other (obviously in some encoded incomprehensible matthi) and people laughed there guts out!! Even Nair sitting next to me was laughing! Man what's up?? (Ok,later I came to know that one was on me !! Shit! )

There were a lot.From a idiotic drunk cameraman (I doubted ),awful hosting,pathetic matthi songs,hopeless fishponds,worthlessly dressed chicks(Me and Nair's last surviving hope),the evening turned out to be pathetically my only worth-remembering day(that too not by my wish) in the 6months marathon.

Let me tell you this was not me to go.I sort of knew that,you know.It was Nair who gave me some of his shitty logics (even he did that the day before) and Omar's performance that made me go there.I mean who goes into these nerdy cultural outbursts(that's the word) where dumb faculty's run around hooting audience to maintain a lecture-hall ambience when a guy is giving out his guts on the stage !! Its shit man,trust me..I am atleast honest on that.If you were there you could have realised how I sacrificed my Gypsy hangout for watching those screwballs.It's never worth it,trust me people..

Idiotically Interesting,I know

Relationships,hmm,I think God was never serious about that for me..from the very first day when I felt the touch of love ( though now I say infatuation), things went wrong for all my efforts in some uncanny way with inexplicable incidents!! No matter where I was and what phase of my life I was counting.

I sometimes feel there was a strong discussion in between Gods before my birth about this critical issue.Though I even doubt if at all the issue of sending me on earth was unanimous decision of them,but keeping that apart..I am atleast confirm about the relations' episode ( you can read love episode if you really want). When it came to be decide on the future relationship-status factor,there was a huge hue and cry over the hall resulting from different un-unified opinions ! The result was that the project leader was so disgusted and confused at the same time that while filling the final fate-form for delivery,he either forgot to check the checkbox against love in the form or else he scraped away the column in the outcome of these happenings.

And so congrats,here I am with a large grin on my face pushing the love cart on this damn earth one after another all in vain !!

I mean I know it was not all about them. Yes surely it could have been better if they really wanted but feeling the real situations and given it was me,the timing issues(poorly called chance and hopelessly called luck) things were never perfect. Thus the rolling of dough for the bread was always undone some or the other way !

From unbaked relations to half-baked and sometime too baked to consume,the story of sour relations had somehow became my fate and the status of being single,sometime or the other went on.It was never that I was always dying for something,I mean someone :) and was always moaning over that,but it really made me low when I saw the increasing count and evidently,my status quo! And even today,I am same as usual in the middle of the puddle after another shitty tale,still hopelessly running for the better someone.This is nothing that you call justice :( !

Screw Exams!!

I am goin to flunk! I am goin to flunk! I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk! wait..
Damn,its not possible.If I fail,damn..am a dead man.But I know the fact..
I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!I am goin to flunk!
yes I am goin to flunk!
Damn exams! It seems like they never forget you! They never let it so easy,I mean you always have to prove yourself..what the hell!! I know how much I knw those damn papers..why do I prove it to you..go fuck idiots!
Wherevr you go,these damn things are always with you.What will happen to me if I flunk?? The problem is its a CDAC xam,so definitly you are goin to get screwed! yes,but i think..no..nah no chance.I have failed,i mean i will. O wait..Shit..there's another problem.I even don kno wat will happen to me if I fail.
i am crying (O God evn this wll not help!! )Its total mess now,my brain is dead and tomorrow I will be dead.
Guys,do inform my home.I am dead..

Partial Insomnia or whatever!!

Ok guys,tonite (lucky me!! huh!) I discovered a funny but a vital ongoing event in my life.It was happening with me for quite a long time but it seems like ,today,finally I have figured that out !!
The thing is that I have observed a fact,rather an idiotic fact to be precise..Whenever I eat something,whether its morning breakfast,or a meal or a lunch or any damn thing, I feel sleepy.It doesn't matter whether you are on a bike or a seminar!!But that's not the end.The funniest part is that it happens with me in all case execept MY DINNER ( Grrrrr!! Don laugh I tell you !).
I know its a sort of nonsense nocturnal behaviour,but I cant help it.It ended up like this ,I sleep all day(dont forget my CDAC classes)..and wide awake all nite! Why?? Cause I dont feel sleepy after dinner.Now its not that I always sleep only when I feel sleepy.But the problem fires badly when you lay on your bed for 3 hours at a stretch at night and you find you are still badly,wide awake!! Ok even that can be handled if you really want to know.But the real problem occurs,when you are asked for a presentation infront of 180 matured people (not to mention,all of them wide awake) and you go to sleep infront of all laughing idiots,that too standing !! Shit!!
God help me!!

Hope this time will pass away!

Its not just the other day
When I had all that I wanted to say
The all I could do,the all it could have been done
The all of thoughts that never took a turn!
I had run,I had run
Ran a long way,to be with one
Ya there was a time,I was with you
The touch of your lips..
I had felt the angels
It burned,it realy burned like the fire
This burning desire..
I heard the tongue of angels
It was colour everywhere..
It was life throughout!


I donno why,now it feels old
I have lost the touch
May be the way I used to be!
The days the Time
The life,the vigour,may all have gone
O Ya,I promised not to change..
to the time that was destined to come;
Today though it seems all is the same
The air the water the wind feels same
but I know
We have lost our move
our way to live,our way to life!!
May be this day will also pass away,
May take me to the time I relish..
I pray to god,for the sake of life,for sake of You
Do return my days,the time,the feel I used to feel!!