Another page from my Fictitious Diary-II

"So Did you kiss her??"

"No way yaar.."

"Damn man !! What were you doing so long then !!.."

"Cum'mon dammit,I dont know even if she thinks me as a friend ! How do you expect her to kiss me!!"

"Eh.Errr.hold on ! hold on ! When did I say her to kiss you !! I said you to kiss her !!"

"And how is that different ??"

"Cummon grow up man.If u fuck her and if she fucks you..are they the same thing!!??"

"Fuck you!!"

"See..now even that's a total different zonar,I forget.Even its different if you.."

"Will you jst shut up for God's sake !!"

"Okk!! Anyways,I know..you are soon going to get fucked by her..hehee!!"

I looked at him real bad this time.Why the hell on earth am I listening to all these!

"Who the damn do you think you are to say all these non-sense..?? "..my voice choked to the last word.I was about to break down this time.My head was messed up with mixed thoughts and irritations.

He suddenly came close and kissed me and started laughing out again.

"My sweetoo bro..crying for a gal..hahahahah !"

Partial fact..I dint know what to say.I was really pissed off big time and I really hated it whenever he got me.

He suddenly sat on a chair and started to move his legs to and fro puffing a cigarette as if being in a great thought.He looked up at the ceiling and muttered something.

"Now what??" I was abit curious at that point.'Cos I knew,it was also a fact that he was the only guy who can help me out.He was a sort of pro when it comes to girls.

"See I think in this case you should not run after her,that wont help you in anyway.. and o yes ! that will be really bad,especially for your health !! ".. an expert comment making rings of smoke from the ciggerette.

But now I was somwhere else.Since he is giving it a thought,so he must be counting on some brilliant idea.
I could see he was really thinking on the issue now.

"Why do u think so ?" I was curious.

"Actually I have a bad information about her from her last boyfriend."

"O boy!" I was geting more and more curious.I went and sat close to him. I just forgot the nonsense few minutes back.

"And what is that??"

I was genuinely curious,interested but abit depressed too on the mention of her last relation.But still decided to take it positively. Since he is really considering this fact,that must have to really influence this case.

He remained silent for a while,took two more puffs,let them out and looked into my eyes.

"What the hell man!! What's the info? !!"

He put the ciggerette butt in the astray.Took few sips of water.He looked into my eyes and brought his mouth close to my ears,as if we were sharing some secret codes with each other.Bastard.But I stayed cool,it was about her,it was about my life afterall.

I brought my ears as close to his mouth as possible.And here he goes..

"I heard she stepped on her boy friend's cock when they had sex last time !!"..he bursted laughing too loud,loud like a mad man rolling on the floor.

My head burst off in anger. Damn !Damn ! Damn ! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I stood up, got him by his collar,kicked his ass like 100times with all the strength I could gather and threw him out of the room.People like him should be made nude and should be caned on their butts publicly !!

But he was mad.He was laughing and laughing,shouting like hell!!

When I banged the door behind him,I could listen him shout.."LOVE YOUUU Baabyy !!"
Friends! Crazy friends !!


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A Page from my Fictitious Diary-I

Callback -chapter II

I reclined forward to get my wallet. I was about to pay the bill. She suddenly got hold of my hand.
I looked at her in a reflex.

She was looking straight into my eyes.(Those kohl-eyes! God! I felt like kissing her right there..)

"What?"..

"What are u trying to do mister !"..She seemed to be really surprised.As usual, I doubted it though.

"I thought I was paying the bill.. !!"

"...but why?"

Now I gave a what-the-hell look to her.It was enough. "Those stuff were not for free ma'am !!"

But she was totally somewhere else.She was talking about something that I couldn't even imagine.

"Is it a date? Why are you paying the bill !!"..

I was really taken back by this statement.I mean,yes,we were out together for the first time but I knew if i asked the same to her,she would have definitely killed me.At least that was what I thought.


"Is it a date !!" I wondered..I loved to ponder on this thought for sometime..

"..but what if its not,still why cant I pay !!Whats the logic ?"

That was a total non sense.She is always weird in her logics.Basically she is weird herself,if you really want to know.But now even i was genuinely confused.

"No..if its a date then you can definitely pay !!"..her eyes lit up with her smile moving up to her eyes.

"So how am I supposed to know if its a date or not !!"..(yeah! I know I am dumb..accept it,even she came to know that by then.)

"Well you can ask me..but see,I cant assure you a positive reply 'cos actually it was me who asked you out !!"

She was really enjoying this non sense,confusing and making fool out me.The poor guy who came with the bill was looking at us,amused,surprised,confused..with changing expressions every now and then.I had a feel that even he was he was trying to figure out what was happening.

"Ok,I got it.It's not a date..u can better pay the bill"..I was totally pissed off by this torture and was sort of rude.

She stood up suddenly.She put her hands on her waist and gave me a smile.

In the next moment,before I can realize what was happening, she laid a quick peck on my cheek.
"But I want you to pay the bill, dumbo !!" She whispered in my ears and rushed out of the place..
"Call me tonight!!" She was out of my sight in a moment.

I was standing like a dumb for a second and the next moment felt like jumping,shouting all at the same time.Damn man,that was a date!!That was a real date!! That's exactly what she meant!! That was a date !!

That was one of the finest moments of my life!! I forgot that the bill-guy was still standing beside me enjoying the show.

"Sir bill "..poor fellow..

I was total nuts by then.I put a 500rs note in his pocket,put a long long kiss on his cheek and ran out for her.

...


Later I realized that the whole restaurant was actually enjoying this show !!
But who cares when you have the girl !!


**By the way,the bill was only Rs 238/- (inclusive of all taxes)

Don ever Try

Ref: This post is in referrence(rather a response) to a mail from one of my readers who somehow doesnt like to make public comments in the blog(for reasons I really dont understand) but seem to have huge interest as well as stand for type of things that should be written and that shouldn't.So here,I got this lovely mail :)

"tum mar jao !! kisne roka hai??
waise bhi saare blogs mein marne varne ki hi baatein likhte ho

ZOMBI kahin ke hunh

kabhi kuch positive aur acha bhi likh diya karo

rona dhona,infidelity,break up, death ...
ab earthquake,volcano blaa blaa par bhi likh lo...complete collection ho jaega...

sadists delight.. "


Well I have already said its the place of +thinking process of a critical brain,so how can you expect things straight!!
For now all I could make is this post which is about few things I somehow have managed to find(mostly from internet) which you can do when you feel lazy/bore/idiotic/adventurous or may be all at the same time in your office.I have been somewhat experimenting on these ideas recently though with dangerous results(Gosh ! Don ask !!).

(Sorry if you have recieved similar mails earlier in your damn life :P)

Hope my unfortunate readers enjoy this time,this being a huge escape from
my so called 'sadist delights'

Guys,just try to visualise things when you read on !

1.After you are in the office,Log on ur pc, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream
“Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes.Bang on the table and laugh. Then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

4. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.Damn..

5. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret US Pentagon files.

6. Bring a chainsaw, but don’t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say
“Just in case…” mysteriously. (and look for people's reaction..hehe!!)

7. Attempt to eat your computer’s mouse (very dangerous).

8. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

9. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.U can slap loudly on the desk
in an attempt to kill them. Make sure you successfully startle the next guy..

10. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it’s
the computer and look really lost..hehe

11. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen.Complain that the lead doesn’t work.

12. Run into office,shout “Armageddon is here!!!!!”, then calmly sit down and begin to
type.

13.(This is the deadliest one)

Stare at the person’s next to yours screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing hysterically,and say “You did that?” loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go..hehee..poor guy..

14. Laugh hysterically,loudly shout “You will all perish in flames!!!” and continue
working silently.

15. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your file isn’t affected). Then look at your neighbor’s keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: “Does *your* delete key work?” Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard.
Keep doing this until you’ve deleted about a page of your neighbor’s document. Then, suddenly exclaim: “Well, whaddya know? I’ve been hitting the space bar this whole time and wonder it wasn’t deleting Ha!” Print out your document and
leave.Huge satisfaction gained..I tell you..

16..Suddenly move close to the monitor.Gaze for an instant.Stand up huge,look down to the next guy and say,"Is it a bird? Is it- Oh! It's Koala Man.Asleep in the branches again, and probably pissed. Tsch-tsch..What an embarrassment to superhero-kind."
Lose your enthusiasm in a moment,sit back calmly and start working..hehe!


Well that's it.If you haven’t even smiled once after reading the above – you need to see a
shrink! Trust me. So run !

Survival

The bright headlights reflecting sharply from the wet windshield blinded me for a moment.In the next moment when I opened the eyes,another car was rushing in from opposite side,suddenly skidded and came towards mine.I applied brakes more in a shock than in reflex.

The rear tyres screeched & skidded badly.The car travelled a lateral distance in high speed,bumped on two huge stray water-filled potholes and rolled once before coming to a sudden hault. Bang !!

It was all silence for a while.I dint know where I was.A strange feeling of numbness occupied me.It took few minutes for me to register what have just happened.A fear suddenly cripped in me very slowly.It was raining heavily now.The rain thrashed on the car.

My state of numb was broken by bright rays of stray light from the high speed vehicles rushing on the highway.The rolling sound of heavy tyres seemed to rattle my ribs...
The state of shock started to sink in and the fear started to grow thinking what I had just gone through.It seemed like I started to become aware of my surroundings with time.But it was worse when the actual fact hit me.

I was about to die.Yes,Death was right there for me.I was blank all through.My body was shivering badly,my mind gave up thinking and I was feeling cold.My head dropped on the steering wheel.I started crying like a child.

I never knew what death is.But that day sitting alone in that car in a dark
rainy night on a sideline highway ,I could figure out the difference between
life and death.It was just a fraction of second..may be a blink of eye between life and death.In a moment you are here and next you are left nowhere.In that strange moment of destiny,my whole life started reeling before of my eyes in pieces.Shards of memory that were hidden somewhere in my mind that I thought never existed,now became visisble .Sounds of my dad's laughter,my mom waving her hands at me from the church gate,the hissing sound of a cooker from the kitchen,the smell of my mom's old saree,my sisters mehendi hands,priya standin on the other side of a busy road,a slight of tense on her face,omar's bright lecherous eyes smiling,vague sounds of sid's voice,u4 sharing a dope,the smell of grass..and more and lot more.Lakhs of faces crowded over me in a moment and my ears were blasted by the random ramblings of thousand voices and laughter.I pressed my hands in my ears but they were of no use then. My pains never lessened..The tears refused to stop.

...

A loud bang from behind brought me out of the trance.Someone broke the front window glass to open the door lock.I was feeling cold and my eyes were too wet to see anything.Tears kept rolling down like the rainy night.

"Hey man,are you ok??" Someone wrapped a shawl around me and helped me out.
" Total nutjob buddy !! We were shouting for like an hour now!! We thought you were dead.."

They said I remained fainted in that dead car for almost an hour that nite .No one knew how I was alive.

Weird nite !

I missed the lighter for the third time in a row.
"Damn poor thing",I thought,"My ass..".Weird thoughts,I know..

Sometimes I feel that this earblasting mindnumbing speaker volumes should be reduced. I mean how can you allow someone insane play some Euro-African trash that too so loud in such a cramped place !! Man trust me,amytime you may have a heartbreak or rather may be a skull break or something..like in a moment you will find all your brain fluids flowing down all over the place from your head..shit man,pathetic thoughts..I wonder.

I stopped listening (dont ask me how it can be done..cos with alcohol in your guts,everything is possible). I again concentrated back on the blessed lighter.
Three more strokes..no hope,missed all through. I looked around blankly,drunk and hopeless.

She lit the lighter for me from the other end,though it startled me abit.Yeah,again I forgot,folks,I am around with a couple tonight.

See,hanging around with couples really stink,and I am not much fond of it if you really want to know.With a lousy gal asking shitty things to her phony boyfriend is always a pain in the ass for me..But lemme tell you,with scantily dressed babe with a crotch-hugging-jeans-dweller bf..that too in a dark shacky pub,things may be total different and no doubt,interesting..

I looked up at her to which she gave a weird smile that brought some nasty thoughts in my mind.I ignored.I looked at the guy with her.The alcohol overdose was sinking. He blankly gazed at the giant screen least bothered about his gal.

It was then when I suddenly felt something scratching on my feet and moving up and down around my shin.I was startled and looked for it under the table.
Yeah..holyshit..,it was her leg which by now have almost reached to my knees caressing inwards and upwards.I looked up at her in a reflex (she had that same mysterious smile)..I immidiately looked at him..hopeless fellow I thought,he was still in his alcoholic coma gasping at the screen.I felt a temporary relief but strangely felt like laughing.The bastard in me was definitly enjoying,I tell you.

"So how much do you love each other? ",I startled both of them especially bringing him back to earth.

"Oh man! We love each other like hell man,we cant live without each other.."; He tried kissing her but badly missed the place and hopelessly landed somewhere down her neck."We even.."

I stopped him on way.."How about dying for each other?" ..I fired..its shit,I know but I was drunk,I told you..
Actually the next moment I was almost on a stage of alcohol-improvised self appraisal because of my delivered dramatic lines( I cudnt beliv that I m so genius) but got really distracted 'cos her legs were by now somewhere around my inner thighs dangerously moving in.Damn man,I was geting a feel.The alcohol effect dipped abit but nevertheles remained.It added to the effect perfectly.

He mumbled something and then was sudden loud.."Arre no man,we can fucking kill ourselves for our love..",the alcohol speaking for him.

"...And we can even kill the other for love..",this came from her..she was smiling again..caressing his face with her hands and my secret places with her legs..My mouth went wide open..


...

Later that night I found myself walking alone on a lonely road,now with a better equilibrium compared to my state few hours back.I was thinking blankly of my friend and his gal I met tonight.

"Infidelity",I thought.."God help us..."

That night in that dark place,somehow I managed myself from a sin.I was almost carried away when something stopped me for good..may be that was my conscience or may be the good God in me..I looked at the sky and smiled..I was strangely satisfied.

Callback..

The Arabian sea was not in a great mood either.Behind the backdrop of the setting sun there she sat ..all alone.
Even I felt strangely helpless.Its strange how weird it feels at times.
It felt restless all around..the waves were hitting the shores with an unknown anger trying
to scrape away as much of the sand it can take..all at a time..

"May I ?"

She looked at me through her wet eyes and nodded.I dint know if that was an approval or a denial
but decided to sit.I felt a strange silence
between us even in between this roaring sea waves.

We were silent for a long time.She wept on and I blankly stared at the sea..It felt never ending,I wished if I could skip this moment,I was numb..
it was slowly getting on me..

"Why do you love him so much??"

"What do you mean?"..that was enough for her..

"Sometimes I wonder why it is like that,why do we love someone..I mean why do we want someone!!
Why do you love him ?"

"I dont know why..I ..I just do ..",she choked..

"Even knowing that he..."

"...that he doesn't love me? Yes still.."

"Rai,you are beautiful,you are intelligent..I mean there are thousand of guys who will die for you,
you can get anyone you want..I mean.."

"If I am so good then why cant I have him !!!"

I dint know what to say..this was hard,real hard to answer..so innocent in her way..and as always,I was blank..

"I dont know that..dont you think we should not expect such things in life that we cant ever..."

before I could end,she was crying more and more.She rest her head on ma shoulders.She made me weak..

"Thanx neel.."

I felt a pain somewhere deep inside,a lump there in my throat,don't ask why..I dint know that either. I closed my eyes for a while and then
looked at the cloudy evening sky..its going to rain tonight..



-(An intentional Work of fiction with a changed name )

Reflection

Crushes of memories in a blue
water colour of light,
Splinter shards of glasses
touched my flame so bright..
The footpath crowds turned to
the train siren in a lonely night,
Whenever I go,wherever I stay
I will always be following the shadows to stray;

Now a few more steps closer,more closer to light
In a drive for eternity life to life,
The ashes are drown in the heart of desire
But the memories are still stuck in an unknown fear..