Ref: This post is in referrence(rather a response) to a mail from one of my readers who somehow doesnt like to make public comments in the blog(for reasons I really dont understand) but seem to have huge interest as well as stand for type of things that should be written and that shouldn't.So here,I got this lovely mail :)
"tum mar jao !! kisne roka hai??
waise bhi saare blogs mein marne varne ki hi baatein likhte ho
ZOMBI kahin ke hunh
kabhi kuch positive aur acha bhi likh diya karo
rona dhona,infidelity,break up, death ...
ab earthquake,volcano blaa blaa par bhi likh lo...complete collection ho jaega...
sadists delight.. "
Well I have already said its the place of +thinking process of a critical brain,so how can you expect things straight!!
For now all I could make is this post which is about few things I somehow have managed to find(mostly from internet) which you can do when you feel lazy/bore/idiotic/adventurous or may be all at the same time in your office.I have been somewhat experimenting on these ideas recently though with dangerous results(Gosh ! Don ask !!).
(Sorry if you have recieved similar mails earlier in your damn life :P)
Hope my unfortunate readers enjoy this time,this being a huge escape from
my so called 'sadist delights'
Guys,just try to visualise things when you read on !
1.After you are in the office,Log on ur pc, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream
“Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes.Bang on the table and laugh. Then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
4. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.Damn..
5. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret US Pentagon files.
6. Bring a chainsaw, but don’t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say
“Just in case…” mysteriously. (and look for people's reaction..hehe!!)
7. Attempt to eat your computer’s mouse (very dangerous).
8. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
9. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.U can slap loudly on the desk
in an attempt to kill them. Make sure you successfully startle the next guy..
10. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it’s
the computer and look really lost..hehe
11. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen.Complain that the lead doesn’t work.
12. Run into office,shout “Armageddon is here!!!!!”, then calmly sit down and begin to
type.
13.(This is the deadliest one)
Stare at the person’s next to yours screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing hysterically,and say “You did that?” loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go..hehee..poor guy..
14. Laugh hysterically,loudly shout “You will all perish in flames!!!” and continue
working silently.
15. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your file isn’t affected). Then look at your neighbor’s keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: “Does *your* delete key work?” Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard.
Keep doing this until you’ve deleted about a page of your neighbor’s document. Then, suddenly exclaim: “Well, whaddya know? I’ve been hitting the space bar this whole time and wonder it wasn’t deleting Ha!” Print out your document and
leave.Huge satisfaction gained..I tell you..
16..Suddenly move close to the monitor.Gaze for an instant.Stand up huge,look down to the next guy and say,"Is it a bird? Is it- Oh! It's Koala Man.Asleep in the branches again, and probably pissed. Tsch-tsch..What an embarrassment to superhero-kind."
Lose your enthusiasm in a moment,sit back calmly and start working..hehe!
Well that's it.If you haven’t even smiled once after reading the above – you need to see a
shrink! Trust me. So run !
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Survival
The bright headlights reflecting sharply from the wet windshield blinded me for a moment.In the next moment when I opened the eyes,another car was rushing in from opposite side,suddenly skidded and came towards mine.I applied brakes more in a shock than in reflex.
The rear tyres screeched & skidded badly.The car travelled a lateral distance in high speed,bumped on two huge stray water-filled potholes and rolled once before coming to a sudden hault. Bang !!
It was all silence for a while.I dint know where I was.A strange feeling of numbness occupied me.It took few minutes for me to register what have just happened.A fear suddenly cripped in me very slowly.It was raining heavily now.The rain thrashed on the car.
My state of numb was broken by bright rays of stray light from the high speed vehicles rushing on the highway.The rolling sound of heavy tyres seemed to rattle my ribs...
The state of shock started to sink in and the fear started to grow thinking what I had just gone through.It seemed like I started to become aware of my surroundings with time.But it was worse when the actual fact hit me.
I was about to die.Yes,Death was right there for me.I was blank all through.My body was shivering badly,my mind gave up thinking and I was feeling cold.My head dropped on the steering wheel.I started crying like a child.
I never knew what death is.But that day sitting alone in that car in a dark
rainy night on a sideline highway ,I could figure out the difference between
life and death.It was just a fraction of second..may be a blink of eye between life and death.In a moment you are here and next you are left nowhere.In that strange moment of destiny,my whole life started reeling before of my eyes in pieces.Shards of memory that were hidden somewhere in my mind that I thought never existed,now became visisble .Sounds of my dad's laughter,my mom waving her hands at me from the church gate,the hissing sound of a cooker from the kitchen,the smell of my mom's old saree,my sisters mehendi hands,priya standin on the other side of a busy road,a slight of tense on her face,omar's bright lecherous eyes smiling,vague sounds of sid's voice,u4 sharing a dope,the smell of grass..and more and lot more.Lakhs of faces crowded over me in a moment and my ears were blasted by the random ramblings of thousand voices and laughter.I pressed my hands in my ears but they were of no use then. My pains never lessened..The tears refused to stop.
...
A loud bang from behind brought me out of the trance.Someone broke the front window glass to open the door lock.I was feeling cold and my eyes were too wet to see anything.Tears kept rolling down like the rainy night.
"Hey man,are you ok??" Someone wrapped a shawl around me and helped me out.
" Total nutjob buddy !! We were shouting for like an hour now!! We thought you were dead.."
They said I remained fainted in that dead car for almost an hour that nite .No one knew how I was alive.
The rear tyres screeched & skidded badly.The car travelled a lateral distance in high speed,bumped on two huge stray water-filled potholes and rolled once before coming to a sudden hault. Bang !!
It was all silence for a while.I dint know where I was.A strange feeling of numbness occupied me.It took few minutes for me to register what have just happened.A fear suddenly cripped in me very slowly.It was raining heavily now.The rain thrashed on the car.
My state of numb was broken by bright rays of stray light from the high speed vehicles rushing on the highway.The rolling sound of heavy tyres seemed to rattle my ribs...
The state of shock started to sink in and the fear started to grow thinking what I had just gone through.It seemed like I started to become aware of my surroundings with time.But it was worse when the actual fact hit me.
I was about to die.Yes,Death was right there for me.I was blank all through.My body was shivering badly,my mind gave up thinking and I was feeling cold.My head dropped on the steering wheel.I started crying like a child.
I never knew what death is.But that day sitting alone in that car in a dark
rainy night on a sideline highway ,I could figure out the difference between
life and death.It was just a fraction of second..may be a blink of eye between life and death.In a moment you are here and next you are left nowhere.In that strange moment of destiny,my whole life started reeling before of my eyes in pieces.Shards of memory that were hidden somewhere in my mind that I thought never existed,now became visisble .Sounds of my dad's laughter,my mom waving her hands at me from the church gate,the hissing sound of a cooker from the kitchen,the smell of my mom's old saree,my sisters mehendi hands,priya standin on the other side of a busy road,a slight of tense on her face,omar's bright lecherous eyes smiling,vague sounds of sid's voice,u4 sharing a dope,the smell of grass..and more and lot more.Lakhs of faces crowded over me in a moment and my ears were blasted by the random ramblings of thousand voices and laughter.I pressed my hands in my ears but they were of no use then. My pains never lessened..The tears refused to stop.
...
A loud bang from behind brought me out of the trance.Someone broke the front window glass to open the door lock.I was feeling cold and my eyes were too wet to see anything.Tears kept rolling down like the rainy night.
"Hey man,are you ok??" Someone wrapped a shawl around me and helped me out.
" Total nutjob buddy !! We were shouting for like an hour now!! We thought you were dead.."
They said I remained fainted in that dead car for almost an hour that nite .No one knew how I was alive.
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