Not an Idiot

Its not that I always feel like writing.I mean I even sometimes feel,damn why the hell do I write?? So one day i really thoght to sit and find out how did I came to a conclusion that i should try to write all the shit that I feel!
I then think it must be some idiot friends in the college who kept on pushing me,like hey buddy you are too good to write man!or may be my passion for reading that gave me a feel that I should try on with pen. Now the point is that,yes I love writing any damn thing I think off,but when I dont feel anything,what should i be writing??Really confused,I tell you !
Now after watching recent idiotic movies of bollywood and the peer pressure rising(suddenly after the movie released) to make you do what you love to do,I at this point want to tell some real story about my life.

I guess it was not too much ago,may be like 15years back when I was in like 3rd or fourth grade or may be earlier.I used to roam around my home with a circular shaped coil of pipe in my hand driving my imaginary vehicle and changing its gears with left hand with the roaring of an imaginary engine.So what happened,one day,my dad caught me,in between my drives and i had to stop my car with a dangerously high pitched screetching brakes!
"So son what do you think you really want to be in life??"
i tell you those idiot movies were not out by then!!
Now given at that age(though I am yet that dumb!) i figured out what I should be doing when i grow up!I was non-chalant in my reply
"papa i want to be driver!!"
"So what are you going to drive?"
"Why?? i love buses,but they are big na?"
My dad was confused i guess,all he could manage was..
"You need to study well if you want to be a good driver !!"
Well unsure of my driving skills and the required studies for that,may be at some point of time after that i gave up my thoughts.

Anyways that was not my point I guess.I am really confused at time about what should be done with the only future given to you!!I mean though i am still undecided whether to continue writing or not but trust me its abit wierd to think for me as to why i am still continuing writing even in this blog!!When I sat to write,I knew nothing what its going to be,but now,that I have become abit emotional,i guess i should stop this torture on your brains.Yes the idea of doing what you love to do is something we really love to fantacise and thats why may be I have written all these nonsense..

Its almost dawn now,its a new year soon.A new time will start.Well the terrible practical man in me woke up..this is the end,I have to end!!

I have to leave my dreams with you guys,with the end of this night,for tonight.Well today in a country of more than 100 million people,i dont think you can manage to do what you really love to do.Whatever may be my thoughts and whatever may I love,I have learned that living your passions are a far thought for people like me who are more worried about making their livings rather writing lines in rain,let alone living dreams !!