Dont make a view from that !

That was my third stick down,or wait,I am not sure,cause Ujjal was lighting the joints.
The noise was taking on me badly and I was desperately craving for some cold air.I went near the edge,someone was sitting by the parapet,I cant figure it out,damn..my senses are working to their lowest best !! I felt a wry smile coming to my face deep from somewhere inside my guts.
It was Saiki siting on the edge.I went and sat by him.He looked at me siping beer from the pint..
"So how's going dude?"
We looked at each other for a while and then I started laughing.It was like gas coming out of those softdrink bottles,with enoromous pressure and haze when shaken vigorously! Even Saiki started laughing.He dropped from the wall,was laughing his guts out,and rolling on the ground.
"Damn ..m man.."..Again the roll of laughter continued..
"No listen ...man I cant..",we wre laughing and laughing
"Fuck Its too hard to keep your eyes open"..I was laughing like a mad man,I tell you .The grass was finally on its high.I thought I need to stop laughing,else I am definitely going to die.I took the beer bottle(Saiki was still laughing) and went to the other corner.
Ujjal was trying to do something with the mobile,but I can bet even he was struggling to figure out things!
"What's up,sitting alone ?"
"Fuck man,I cant keep my eyes open.I think the sticks were too tight"..
"you still think..?? ",and here it goes,I started laughing again.I was feeling helpless.I felt I was trapped in an endless loop of some insane feelings that were going on and on and on.Half of my brain was trying to stop laughing,but they were useless,I was not to stop.I was now sure that I am going to die tonight,confirm.
Suddenly my throat started choking."I need water",There was a huge lump in my throat.
Ujjal passed me beer instead of water(fucker !!),I gulped as much I can.
Now this was the craziest part for me.May be this was the first time of my life,I really wished to die.The lump in my throat now slightly went down abit but again got stuck in somewhere in the pipes.The worse part was that I could feel every inch of my foodpipe now,and the lump going down and down,slowly,very slowly.It was passing between my lungs,it was somewhere beneath the cage,was about to reach the stomach,but still not going down.Damn slow,very slow..shit man.It was the worst thing I ever felt ! The high of grass was far more worse than alcohol.It comes with a physical discomfort that can even make you wish to die,trust me.
We somehow managed to comedown to the flat,Ujjal and me supporting mutually I guess.The good thing was that I could rely on him,cause something inside me told,he was not that out,but his eyes denied every single bit of my thoughts.
Down in the flat,as we came down,it was all smoky throughout.It was funny,the music and the noise seemed to me coming from far away as they show in movies.Everything was blur,and I had to strain my eyes,sometimes even brain to figure out people..My brain denied to work,all I could manage to think was..damn what a way to start a new year,and guess what,I was laughing again..
When I opened my eyes ,it was 2in the noon,the 1st of Jan 2010.
I said happy New year to myself..


Actually,while surfing the net,I could see people uploading pics for their New Year bash,joyous faces hugging each other,may be a glass of wine(the only one they drank in their whole life !),girls everywhere and all.even some people went a step ahead for trips on the first day of the year spending huge bucks making a huge start for the season.
Well,anyways I also just wanted to share up my crazy night with my crazy friends,hoping for an all crazy new year.There were lot more idiotic things but that's all for now.Happy New year guys.Hope you like it..

Not an Idiot

Its not that I always feel like writing.I mean I even sometimes feel,damn why the hell do I write?? So one day i really thoght to sit and find out how did I came to a conclusion that i should try to write all the shit that I feel!
I then think it must be some idiot friends in the college who kept on pushing me,like hey buddy you are too good to write man!or may be my passion for reading that gave me a feel that I should try on with pen. Now the point is that,yes I love writing any damn thing I think off,but when I dont feel anything,what should i be writing??Really confused,I tell you !
Now after watching recent idiotic movies of bollywood and the peer pressure rising(suddenly after the movie released) to make you do what you love to do,I at this point want to tell some real story about my life.

I guess it was not too much ago,may be like 15years back when I was in like 3rd or fourth grade or may be earlier.I used to roam around my home with a circular shaped coil of pipe in my hand driving my imaginary vehicle and changing its gears with left hand with the roaring of an imaginary engine.So what happened,one day,my dad caught me,in between my drives and i had to stop my car with a dangerously high pitched screetching brakes!
"So son what do you think you really want to be in life??"
i tell you those idiot movies were not out by then!!
Now given at that age(though I am yet that dumb!) i figured out what I should be doing when i grow up!I was non-chalant in my reply
"papa i want to be driver!!"
"So what are you going to drive?"
"Why?? i love buses,but they are big na?"
My dad was confused i guess,all he could manage was..
"You need to study well if you want to be a good driver !!"
Well unsure of my driving skills and the required studies for that,may be at some point of time after that i gave up my thoughts.

Anyways that was not my point I guess.I am really confused at time about what should be done with the only future given to you!!I mean though i am still undecided whether to continue writing or not but trust me its abit wierd to think for me as to why i am still continuing writing even in this blog!!When I sat to write,I knew nothing what its going to be,but now,that I have become abit emotional,i guess i should stop this torture on your brains.Yes the idea of doing what you love to do is something we really love to fantacise and thats why may be I have written all these nonsense..

Its almost dawn now,its a new year soon.A new time will start.Well the terrible practical man in me woke up..this is the end,I have to end!!

I have to leave my dreams with you guys,with the end of this night,for tonight.Well today in a country of more than 100 million people,i dont think you can manage to do what you really love to do.Whatever may be my thoughts and whatever may I love,I have learned that living your passions are a far thought for people like me who are more worried about making their livings rather writing lines in rain,let alone living dreams !!

Its never worth that way..

This is not always you know what's happening
Its not at all that you know what is there
You never know how you want to live
Rather you never want to know what you want..

Sometimes it gives you a feeling that you are on
It makes you feel like flying
Makes you the man of all
You get the feel that you are the potential best;

The very next moment it fades away
Its always a dark storm in the horizon
It takes away all,all you had and all you felt you wanted.

May be that's fate,they call Destiny
This is the way how you get along
This is the way how you start longing for a change
Rather may be this is the change..

O wait,what is that on?
Is that the way it was supposed to be?
Isn't it an attrition,you calling a transition?
O dear,it can't be that way !
Definitely not that way..You never wanted it that way..

Oh! so now you say that doesn't matter,
Yeh that's exactly you say when you suffer
Trust God,its not always worth that way,
Its definitely not true that way..

Me,the ordinary man..

I am not a perfect person
There's a lot that I cant make happen
I wish I could be the one I wanted
But there's always something thats drifts life away
There's something that fades me to dark
There's something that pulls me back
There's a thousands reason I can give you..

Yes I am not at all a perfect man
Well I was never a perfect person
But still there's a thousand dream for me to requim
A thousand thoughts to reflect
A thousand joy that makes me happy..

I am the one who loved the dawn
I am the one who loved the rain
I was the one who loved to live..

Time changed and so did I
I was in love,I will be in Love
I was happy and I will again be Happy
I lived that life and
Still thats the life I wish to live
And that's the Life I wish to love

May be I am not a perfect person
But I am the one who will be in love
I am the one who wishes to see joy
And I will be the man who will know to Live

Yes I am the ordinary man who Loves Life..



[inspired from Hoobastank-The Reason]

Just read 'em !!

Last nite i read these few lines from a friend of mine .I really felt like sharing those lines..
Five pearls of Wisdom,I guess you should never forget :

1. Money cant buy happiness but somehow its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle..what do you say,eh?

2.Forgive your enemies but remember their names :)

3.Help a girl when she is in trouble and she will remember you when she is in trouble again !! Man that's the pathetic part of all.

4.Many pepole are still alive because it is illegal to shoot them :(

5.Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk !!

Few lines of my fav poets!

The Lust of the goat,is the bounty of God
The nackedness of women,is the work of God,
Excess of sorrow laughs,Excess of joy weeps !!

-William Blake



Give me women,wine and snuff,Untill I cry out,hold enough!!
You may do sans objection..
Till the day of resurrection..

...
[Damn I have forgotten the rest lines'
will gt thm fr u wenevr i recollect!!]

-John Keats

Few of my works!!

I played the strings night after night,
Wanted to love you in the dreams of light,
Its hard to breathe,its hard to die,
I never knew why you had to lie.

Now that you are gone from the lights of my eyes,
When in my dreams you kissed me to say goodbye.
We broke the bonds,we broke the chain
But never knew it comes with a pain..

Time will make you forget me more,but
Time will make me love you more than before!!


[Please don't read more than once,i think its not that worth!]